Tom Franken's FrankenBlog

The FrankenBlog was a blog I wrote a while back in the persona of Tom Franken [you can find his real blog here: http://excerptsfromthelifeofaliontamer.blogspot.com/ ]. That blog has since been retired [due to reasons I'd rather not digress upon]. The following is one post from that blog.

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Yo Hablo! Soy Tom!

Somedays I dream about becoming a famous singer/songwriter.
And then I wake up and think:
1) That was a stupid dream.
2) Did I just wake up in the middle of Spanish class? How did I get here?

Later in the day I will realize that I have Math in the same classroom as Spanish. So I must have fallen asleep during my Math lesson in the morning, missed History, English, and Lunch, and woken during my Spanish lesson later that afternoon.

This will occur a couple times a week, so normally I am used to it. But today was different. As I left Spanish class to go find something to eat, I noticed someone. Her name was Jessica, and she's been in my school for a few years, but today she looked different. Maybe she had died her hair blond, or maybe it was the way she crossed her legs while sitting in her desk, still listening to the teacher. I thought to myself she might even stay for the whole class period. I was smitten.

As I walked away from the classroom, I could still hear her soft, sultry voice echoing the halls in some language i couldn't understand. I wondered what she might be saying. But I guess I will never know.

Feeling very peculiar, I decided to put my feelings into lyrical form. This is how my song began:

Hey girl, sitting across the room from me.
I didn't expect to see you here, today.
Maybe I should tell you my name.

That is as far as I got with the song. I couldn't decide what to do next. I could tell her my name in the next line, but "It's Tom" isn't very poetic. Besides, she probably already knows my name. I've talked to her dozens of times. I mean, I see her there all the time. And I never call her "girl." That would be kind of degrading. And weird.

Upon all of those realizations, I rewrote the lyrics to be more appropriate:

Hi Jess.
Can your Mom drive me home from school?
I lost my keys again.

At the end of the day I decided not to sing those beautiful words to her, but just spoke them in a conversational tone. I really did need a ride home, and I didn't want to creep her out.

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